If Anyone Needs Me I'll Be On The Couch....

No, but, really, I'm probably nursing my kid.

I LOVE nursing.  I love everything about it!  The INSTANT soothing of your crying baby, the touching, the bonding... I could go on.... BUT I've found it exceptionally difficult to keep my house tidy with a 10 week oh, gosh, 11 week old (today!) wanting to eat all the time, and a three year old capitalizing on my butt being anchored to the couch thanks to said 11 week old.   For REAL, this kid can MAKE A MESS.  Right before my eyes!   The other day she tossed her tuna sandwich on the floor because she was "all done."  Do whaaaaat!?    Really, I didn't believe it.   I knew I MUST have hallucinated it..... Um, no.  I've NEVER "tossed" anything on the floor like that!  Who are you?  On top of believing our house to be a giant trash bin , she apparently has no control or awareness of any of her limbs.  IF there's something that can get spilled, it WILL... and it will spill on the ONE place that isn't covered by whatever it is you put down to catch the mess.  

At around 8 weeks after Leah's birth, I reached a point of madness.  I felt like I was swimming in stacks of clean, unfolded laundry...toys...old food... and trash.  No, I WAS swimming in all of those things.  The dishes piled up.. And at the end of the day, my house, regardless of how much I cleaned, seemed to be dirtier than it was when I woke up.  I couldn't understand it!  Why couldn't I keep a clean house!!!  WHY COULDN'T I DO IT ALL!  Why couldn't I be like "her."  When it hit me.  I'm not her.  I won't be her.  I wasn't made her.  And this is my life.   I can tell a good story, but I leave all of the lights on.  I can make my kids laugh,  but my kitchen CAN'T stay clean without major efforts.  Oh, I also  calculated the amount of time I spent holding my Leah and nursing her to the 50th percentile in weight, and lemme tall ya, nursing is TIME consuming.  I spend most of my day doing it.  And I wouldn't change it for a clean house...not in a million years.  This is my last baby to breastfeed and I am going to soak it in because there will come a day when Leah weans and my nursing season will morph into solid foods and talking and more independence and I will ACHE to be back on my couch.  The couch where  I solely provided life to my Leah and memories to my Maddie. 

So, as it is, we have the messiest house on the block. But more than that we have Candy Land picnics....  

...and laughing....



....and outdoor adventures...



....and smiles...



...and baby cheeks....



...and sisters....



...and once in a very, very blue moon.... we have stillness...



In that stillness...my mess?  Our mess?  Totally worth it.

PS  IF anyone has seen the batteries to the remote, I'd be much obliged....

The Day I Almost But Not Quite Skipped Town Without A Trace

Before I start, I will tell you that both of my children are alive and well.  Breathing, laughing, shrieking bloody murder in a bouncy seat (kind of kidding), climbing on my counters (not kidding at all)….but they are alive.  

At almost 9 weeks, my sweet Leah and I have gotten our groove.  I get her, she gets me.  She’s so chill.  So calm.  So sweet.  So happy.  She doesn’t cry a lot and my milk supply has left her satisfied.  SOOOO satisfied that the last few days she’s slowed down on her eating and taken more naps than usual….in return, my body started producing a little less milk.  EXHIBIT 1.  EXHIBIT 2?  I experimented with spicy foods!  (I imagine you see the direction this train is barreling…) Welllll, ALL DAY today Leah has been shrieking out in pain…legit crying and stretching…CLEARLY uncomfortable.  She’s also wanted to nurse ALL DAY LONG, EXHBIT 3- Ok, done with the exhibits….  I’m talking every 20 minutes to up the supply she left for dead yesterday when she took SEVERAL NAPS all day long.   So, needless to say, my day has been spent sitting, nursing, wiping butts, making food, watching my house be destroyed, and all the while wishing for a spare second where I’m not touching another person. 

Around 1 o’clock Maddie ditched the clothes.  Full on birthday.  Numerous butt shots to the face made me laugh until she asked me to smell her finger.  Yeah, she will kill me someday for telling you, but she touched her butt and asked me to smell her finger.  I sternly said GO wash your hands and got a butt finger to the cheek.  THIS was the point where my day took a nosedive.  Sitting and nursing while your kid makes a mess around you can completely change your mood and getting a smelly finger to the skin only makes things worse.  Also, hearing your child crying in pain is on my top 5 list of sounds to eliminate from earth. 

Dinner time.  My heart is palpitating reliving it. 

I decided to start a bit early to make some deviled eggs to have on hand for snacks.  To the MO-RON whose post appears first in the Google search “Easy to Peel Hard Boiled Eggs,” YOU RUINED MY EVENING!!  YOUR METHOD DOES NOT WORK WHEN FOLLOWED METICULOUSLY.   Difficult to peel hard-boiled eggs are FRUSTRATING!  They should be ALL that rapist and child molesters are fed.  PERIOD.  The kind where half the whites come off with EACH, LITTLE, TINY, STUPID piece of eggshell!  (My husband is laughing reading that last sentence over my shoulder… “Wow hahaha Really?” he said… He just doesn’t get it)  I digress.

To add insult to injury, this eggshell episode broke down in the middle of Leah at her peak of discomfort and frustration.  With each egg I was optimistic that THIS peel would come sliding off.  My optimism may have been what hurt me the most.   I found it very apropos that there happened to be a fly sitting on the stupid egg when I took the pics... I didn't even notice.











And OH EM GEE Maddie NEEDED TO HELP RIGHT THIS SECOND CAN I HELP CAN I HELP  CAN I HELP MOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!?  SERIOUSLY!!!?  NO!!!  YOU CAN'T! ((heart…rate…increasing… THESE STUPID EGGGGGGGS!  BABY CRYINGGGGG....Oh, Crap!!  THE GRILL!)   Oh, did I mention that I had put food on the grill?  Burnt.

I came back in with this pile of manure and saw that Maddie had, in fact, taken it upon herself to help.  By cutting up eggs with a potato peeler.   Bare butt on the counter. Thanks.

I've come to believe that my frustration was evident.  Well, I assume because when I placed our leather and blackened veggies on the table, she yelled “Freaking Leah"  about my still crying infant. Don’t look at me like that, I feel bad enough as it is!   “Don’t say freaking…" I said, " it’s not polite”  “Why?”  “JUST DON’T... Just DON'T say it and don't argue!”

I’m deep breathing.  I'm nursing again.   I'm choking on my dried out piece of chicken and decide to make a fully conscious effort to change my heart.  Change it right this instant... what can I be thankful for?    “Maddie, let’s say what we’re thankful for!  What are you thankful for??”  With a forced smile.

Calmly, sincerely, and without missing a beat:     You.

In tears, I grabbed my camera.

Schedule

Below is a tentative availability schedule for photography appointments.

 PLEASE NOTE:

1. The calendar below starts on Monday. The weekends are at the end of the week.
2. The time is Central Standard time.
3. IF you have a pressing date or a deadline to be met, please e-mail me @ JenSebringPhotography@gmail.com  I may be able to work something out.

Daughter

Dear Maddie,

You are marvelous.

I don't know what brought this letter on, but I suddenly became overwhelmed with thoughts I needed to share with you. Thoughts that are overflowing from my heart.  Thoughts of how smart you are. How funny you are. How opposite of me you are... and how much the same. I look at you every day and am stunned at how interesting and beautiful God made you.



Your 13th month has been the best yet.  You've learned how to walk, you're picking up on words and sounds, your personality is starting to shine, and you babble all the time.  You have sticky fingers, too, and walk off with all my stuff!  Today, however, I asked you to go get what you took and bring it back and you DID!  You're a people pleaser.  :)

 One of our favorite traits is your sense of humor.  Before you were born, Daddy and I worried that you would be way more serious about things than we were.  God listens.  You are 14 months and fake laugh when we laugh!  Your actions and thoughts make us laugh and giggle and guffaw-- I considered "thesaurusing" laugh but I'm pretty sure you get the point..and that point is, you make us laugh....

And laugh....

And laugh...

And laugh...

There were signs of hilarity a year ago, but you just never know...

You have and continue to bring us absolute joy.  I'm so excited to watch you grow and become the person I will love forever.  So far, that person is pretty darn amazing....

Please don't ever lose that walk...


Oh, I almost forgot!  You give excellent kisses!  I pretty much beg for them on a regular basis...and you've learned to lean forward and plant one on me.  I think you know I need them...

Thank you, Bug, for being the daughter I need....and for giving me the family I always wanted.

We love you.  Deeply.  Wholly.  And unconditionally....

Love,

Mom

PS  It's 3:30am....  I have no idea what I just typed... but I meant every word.

Kobe

Ok, I'm FINALLY getting around to finishing this post!

I can't say enough about Kobe.  He is SO kind and so sweet, but a man's man at the same time.  Sarah has done a remarkable job at raising a great person!

Kobe was so stinkin' easy to take pictures of!  He took direction, but mostly just did it all on his own.  All I did was snap the picture and tell him where to pose.

Finally, his mom got involved and insisted we at least get a snap shot of his teeth!!!  What a gorgeous smile!

So, now a little about his personality. I told him to close his eyes and when I said 3, open them wide and smile... Typically people open them a little too wide, then you get the picture when they start to relax a little. He held this pose for about 5 seconds before I started gut rolling... hahaha

Also, I let him take my camera around and shoot some pics. Here is one of his beautiful mom! I put his watermark on there to give him credit! :)

I LOVE this kid.

Stacey

I'm finally getting around to posting some more of the engagements. I was so busy and so distracted that I couldn't find time to sit down and edit. I also had some weird mental block about how crappy of a photographer I am... I guess it comes with the territory...

Ok, here are some more shots....

And can I JUST say how BEAUTIFUL this couple is!?  For real, though.....